Perusahaan Listrik Nasional Presentasi

Last week aku ker Surabaya meeting dengan coworker aku, Pak Soepriyadi.

Hari esoknya aku di bawa ke PLN Bali. Buat Presentasi untuk bebarang yang aku jaga di Region nii.

Aku kalau buat presentation , biasalaa. Bahasanya, rujak. Kejap cakap Indo, (macam aku cakap ngan Bibik). Kejap cakap English, ser-low-ly (macam aku cakap dengan Ah Yee Kominih). Nampak sangat tak pro. Hapa-hapa laa.

Bagi aku bahasa tuu penting. Tapi, yang lebih penting, isinya. Apa yang aku nak sampai kan, kesampaien.

"Bapak2 sekalian, saya amat gembira serta berbesar hati, sekiranya 100 persen, apa yang saya ingin sampaikan di sini, bapak dapat menangkap 80 persen aja. Saya cuba sedaya upaya untuk menerangkan secara jelas. Saya minta maaf sekiranya bahasa yang saya gunakan di sini serupa rujak ci-ngur. Kadang kala berbahasa Malay-Indo. Kadang English, Bercampur-campur gitu yaa.."

Rujak Ci-ngur (hidung Sapi)

Satu, lagi kalau aku buat presentasi, aku suka benor kalau participants tuu joint aku sekali. Kalau tak, hmmm ngantoklaa jawabnya. Aku sokmo encourange Q&A. Jump right away.

No Point of Stopping anybody to particpate. Lagi banyak bertanya kali syiok. Tapi kalau kat Asia Selatan nii sokmo participants diamm ajer. Dormant.

Baik Vietnam. Baik Siam, Baik Indo..

Elok ajer semua participant tuu dah really warm up. Kali Pak Nyoman, boss dari planning, bersuara.

" Bapak Jo,. saya ada satu soalan. Kalau desain dari Swiss Co. itu panta*nya Ae-Dae-Oh itu selalu nya mudah jatuh yaa..?"

Terkedu jap aku. Putting up a straight face. Aku pun jawab.

"Iyaaa, Pak Nyoman. Panta* memang se-gitu. Desain nya memang dibuat untuk mudah jatuh. Supaya proteksinya mudah berjalan. Yaaa."

Tengokkan muka Pak Nyoman, rasanya dia puas hati kott, dengan jawaban aku tuu

Hmmmm.

Chch-Queenstown-Auckland

Bersarang sikit belog nii.

Tak sempat nak hapdet.

Boleh tahan jugak dengan aktiviti kelija-cum-jenjalan minggu lepas sampai terlupa belog nii.

*****

Minggu lepas aku outstation lagi.

Kali ni ker Cold and Blustery New Zealand. Macam dalam Winnie the Pooh tuu laa kot.

With Maam. Best tawww. Ada exhibition-presentation dan acara melawat kilang. Aku kira jadi macam spokeperson for some products laa. All this while, Ah Ken, dengan Ravin ajer yang ke NZ. Bagi can, haku laa pulak...

Last Thursday, we touched down Christchurch from Singkapor. Earlier when we booked our flight, we ordered MOML. (Moslem Meal), The way they spell Moslem tuu aku rasa macam tak syiok jer.

Aku dah agak dah, kalau order MOML, sure dapat nasik Hinndia. Kalau dapat macam Horijinal Kayu macam kat Kota Damansara tuu boleh laa tahan... Ini tak.

Anyway,

Biryani, Biryani, Biryani. Ada ikan masak kari.

Ditambah dengan Papadom goreng, Lama-lama boleh mereng..

Anyhow, the flight was OK. Sempat laa layan Satu Brad Pitt, Satu Liam Neeson dan beberapa joke tak senonoh Chris Rock. Sampai sengal bont*t laa dudok sepuloh jam. Ha haaa

Ntah hapa ker ntah, luggage aku dengan Maam delayed hari tuu. The next day, there was no Flight from Singkapor. The luggage only arrived the next next day. Aku dengan Maam hapa lagi. Shopppping. With a Capital asssss... Dah berumor skit nii shopping is no fun. Letih laaa.

But,

I got myself one nice belt.

An original NZ shoe. Hapa ker nama McIntyre. With deep mocha brown kalerr

Indon Made shirt with a pseudo cuff link.

and 5 pieces China Made for expensive NZ market, underwear.

The bill came up to be NZD 350 ++.

Maam punya, aku tak tauu...

Aku harap boleh claim laa from Insurance Co...

Singkapor

Cooti skoloh kali nii we headed down south. Again. Kali nii aku hangkot sekali Datok Ahmad. My daddy seemed so excitedly-eager to be back in Temasek, walaupun kenkadang to really dork ghrok sunggoh. He's 75. He was born and raised there, and I believe by driving him around the island will bring back some old, but still intact, nice sweet childhood memories.

Ehem, one elderly lady in the MRT even commented to me "You're one good son". Twice. ( he he, I know)

*****

Kali nii takdork dahh nak dudok otel-otel. Aku khabor ker bbudok " kita dudok dorm kali nii. dudok kat hostel" Arip sebok tanya aku "Abah2.. berapa star hoistel nii ?" Aku jawab "Suku star". Berkerot jugak muka Arip dengarkan suku star hoistel.

and it's suku star indeed. With shared bathroom and toilets. No bath towels. All 7 of us crammed in one room filled with double decker beds.

But it's clean. Well maintained hostel, and in a quiet neighborhood. and most importantly it's cheap, by $ingkapor standard laa.. It's somewhere near Kovan MRT, near the Punggol Nasi Lemak. Tuu pun aku baca blog mala'un mana entah., recommending the place.

Datok enjoyed it thoroughly, even with the bbudak memekak, kuuuk kiik-kuuuk kiik sokmo dalam bilik. (Me with my incessant jerits. "Hoiii, diam sikit boleh takk?") he heee.

Come meet the Kay Tees. Kopek Tajams.. haaaaaaaaa.

*****

Aku suka betol drive kat Singkapor nih. Road signs are aplenty. Semua orang drive slowly, just like me, Slo Jo.

Trees are well maintained. Landscape tip top. And I think the road is mixed with some kind of magic chemical solution that make Montrosity tires murmured, intead of rumbled. Senyap-Nyaman gitew yaach.

Dan pulak sekarang nii dengan Google Map, hmmm senang betol. Ditambah lagi dengan Pipa yang excited sangat baca sign board with her Robotic English.

"Peee Aye Eeeee, Eks-zit faif-teeeeeeen. Upppaah Serangoooon Rrroad.."

This is fun.

Espresso

Finally, after waiting for 2 consecutive quarters, we got our own Espresso Machine. Baru laa taraf kami di sini, the mere peasants (MPs), sama dengan malaun menejemen (Eminems) kat blok A tuu..

This blardy Swiss Co. bought a Swiss Made Espresso machine. Or is it Italian made ? I tell you, with this machine, Kopinya lahhh-zat sekali. Press the magic button, you'll get amazingly super tasty ala BakBintang. On the spot.

I think our Total Productivity increased by 18.7 %. Camni laa gaya nya, we're able to blog more..

Yeehaaaaa. !!!

I believe this is a good step by our HR professionals. Rather than just talking about remuneration$ and the like$, they introduce other niceties such as this. Bghravo2...

Did I tell you we have two nice canteens here ?

Hotel-like, spic and span clean restrooms.

Plenty of Car parks. Uncovered though for my Lambongini

Climate Controlled Factory Floor. It's always 26 degree on the Floor. Takder ler berasap buat testing macam jaman aku dulu.

Young Rajin Engineers.

*****

Ah Fook Kominih ajer yang suwe*. He make most people's life miserable...Cam pagi tadi, aku ada tender tutop pukol 12, alif-sim-ha-wau-lam tuu called meeting on 10, for the tender. Sib baik Ceramics instructed him to be at Our meeting Room, instead of his.

By 11, I still have to fill up harga2 tender, Kominih nih dok merepek tanya soklan macam $^%^%& !!

I dunno, mebbe dia masih kesedihan-kekonpusan, partner in Crime, Ah Yee Kominih, dah kena transfer balek Swiss...

World According to Arip

According to Arip (my son, the boy !), there are 3 type of bikes exist.

1. Moto Rae-ching : This one revolves around Moto GP and the likes. The rider normally dons a full leather suit with a very hard knee cap protection to scrap the circuit.


2. Moto Terbang : This is what we, normal people, call Motor X. MotorCross. Sometime the competition is being held in a Huge stadium and and some other time, outdoor. The word 'terbang' comes from the flying-jumping action


3. Moto NK : This is what Harley and the cruiser meant to Arip. It's a short form of Moto Nampak Ketiak.

******

Semalam masa aku tengah round-round dengan my beloved Nasional Skuter, with Arip and Ajim riding along, Arip tanya aku. Biasala kalau anak jantan nii tanya, the intonation, semuanya flatt ajer. Tak ber-emosi lansung. Tak macam Pipa. Kalau tanya tuu siap dengan angkat-angkat kening and full hand-gestures.

"A_bah,__, Abah,_ tau tak buat bunyi pret-prett-preet, bila letak tangan bawak ketiak tuu. Arip tauuu__"

(That's my Boy..Kalau takder anak jantan, tak pulak tau macam nii punya pe'el tak senonoh pun ada)

Anne about 6 years ago. Can you see the similarity with her Brother, Arip ?

Arip. 2 weeks back.

Crossing School Children - HCMC

Banyoknyer laa mutor kat Ho Chi Minh City niii.
Atas Jalan.
Tepi Jalan.
Arah bertentangan.
Celah kereta.
Atas five-foot-walk-way.
Sebelah pintu kereta.
Tepi kedai.
On incoming traffic. Bak kata ~ Merata-ratalaa.

(Motorcycles here are just like electric current. It'll flow through the least resistive path.)

Rasa macam nak kena ttercalar kereta ajer. Tak pulak accident. Tapi, bila lama sikit dah dok kat sini, semuanya nampak in order. Tengah elok aku enjoy all traffik jam tuu, tiba2 dalam kesesakan tengahari nii, ada pulak siren polis kuat. Tiba2 ada polis tarik tali merentang jalan. Aku ingat habis ler. Sapa ler pulak kena saman ker haper..

Rupa2nya ada bbudak sekolah melintas jalan..

Beijing - Part Two , "Kun-Kun".

This was overdue days ago.

*****

Nama English orang Beijing Chinese nii kenkadang pelik. Nama yang tak pernah aku dengar. Macam Oasis, Efdlinger, Jarsoya, Road, Salulu, Laref, Skyer and Flora. The weirdest one so far is Pussy.

Touring agent aku kali ni nama dia Rose. The heard Beijing-er pronunciation is Ro-ser. Dialah yang bawak kami segroup merata-rate dari Great Wall (entry point Ba-da-ling, pronunciation pat-ta-ling street) sampai ker Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, and tiring shopping (kwan memang dork ghrok2 part nyopping nih).

At Forbidden City, she tried to explain her very possible best with her Beijing-er Engrish on the details of the City, Gardens, Artifacts, Architechture, pepatungs, pavement, fengshui and colours. Hapa-hapalah..

Not to forget about the Emperors, his many concubines and the Eunuchs. According to my customer, in ancient China, the khunsas are called "Kun-Kun"s. While listening attentively on the details of the eunuchs, one of our customers is excitedly wanting to know how the emperor made a normal man an Eunuch.

Haiyoo..! Teruja betul mamat Macau nii..

Where’s do they cut ?
Is sit just the balls ?
What about the shaft / or rod ? (I'm sorry, rods & shaft are normal words in our industry. Rotating rods, interphase shafts, interconnecting rods and shafts, etc.)

Was it the whole thing ?
How do they cut ?

By slitting with scissor ?

Or was it knife ? Mebbe a Machete ?
Swiss knife ? No ?

Haiyooooo.. Tak sensor lansong mala'un nii.

Ro-ser explained it carefully. Adding that, every year they have a period when they inspect the Eunuchs' shafts and rods, to see wether it grows again. (Entah betol ker tidak, aku pun tak tahu).

If it does, then they’ll re-cut.

Then come soalan cepumas from our colleague from Macau.
“Do they cut it when it is hard or soft.?“
Everybody was so quite, concentrating on the Macau-nese question.
Ro-ser just stood there, terkedu..

Then came help from one of our Hongkie colleague. With his thick Hongkie Engrish
“Harro Jen, you cannot ask her that question.. Ro-ser is still wirgen..”

Everybody was stunned. I think they had too much of free flow Tsingtao, during the lunch..

Summer Palace lake.

Bridge @ Summer Palace

Beijing - Part One - Eating Orgy

Dalam beberapa hari singkat aku kat Beijing, pada pendapat (sontot) aku, ada dua budaya berlaga. Budaya orang China dari China. Budaya Melayu (or semi Melayu) dari Malaysia.

Kalau orang China China disini, mereka kerap akan menyajikan seberapa banyak dishes seboleh- semungkin kepada pelanggan mereka. Lagi banyak lauk-pauk-mauk yang mereka pesan, lagi bagusla , pada pandangan mereka. Lagi banyak LPM yang tidak habis, lagi gembira la mereka.

Tapi, pada orang Melayu (or semi-melayu) Malaysia macam aku nii, aku rasa laa, lagi licin aku sapu dishes yang mereka hidangkan, lagi bagus. (Bolehkaa ini macam ?) Pada aku, licin tuu bermakna, makanannya enak. Really appreciate the dishes being served. OK dak gitu ?

Masaalah sekarang nii pulak, lagi licin aku sapu, lagi banyak orang China China nii order. . Aiseymann, this is a loose-loose situation.

Hari yang terakhir aku kat sini, aku beritahu Willie, our Beijing-er colleague,

“Yo Willie !

You must make a promise not to order as many dishes as before. You're one Great Host !, but I'm gaining few kilos already.. that's baaad man..”

Willie, being a glo-bo-locally travelled salesman he is, agree. Tapi, aku tengokkan dia order untuk dia seniri, still macam pulun habis-habisan. We went to an upscale Iranian Restaurant. He had One huge plate of Palao, One big plate of salad, and a pinggan dara or hummus, with several Arab Breads

Mebbe, he's like me, a decade back. Bila customer datang Malaysia ajer, mula la aku heret diaorang (at that time) to Kelana Seafood. Ordered like there's no tommorow.

This time, no more laa. Kwan Dok ghorkk..

******

I hope y'all won't get sick looking at these .jpgs. yaa.


I do.


******

Pan-fried pecans (or was it almonds ?) with fresh sprout. Not too crunchy, yet not too lembek. Smoooth

Mixed Salad and nuts, served as an appertizer with sweet kicap. Macam Kicap Habhal cap kipas Udang.

Broasted chicken in mint sweet and sour sauce. Amek ser-cebis ajer buat rasa.

Timun laut in clear soup. The non muslim customers were served with Pumpkin soup with Lentil. Apparently, some on the Hongkie Customers said they'd rather be muslims getting this soup. Kuat btol men-teke-daghah ma-laun tuu..

Litely Boiled & Peeled seawater prawns. Boleh laaa. Kena jaga sket. Gout tuuu.

Halal Lamb version of Peking Duck, in a bun. Not in a paper thin damp tortillas. Best Bang. Yang ini Sedap mendongak ke Langit.

Look at the cute luscious Burger !!

Scallop with watercress and Shandong nuts. Look at the flower motifs. Tengok seketika untuk menikmati carikan bunga ituu.

On the right, is panfried Daun bunga Matahari. Cruncheeeeh.

Look at the Spread. It's meant for 3. Okay laa make it 3 and a half. The other half is my portion.

Haiyoo,. membazir betol.

This is interesting..

From the left, shrimp with Lemon Grass stick. Put inside schnafglas, topped with extra virgin olive oil, & mashed spinach.

In the middle, wasabe jelly.

On the right hand, vacuum-chilled susu tepong. Yes, you heard me rite. SUSU TEPONG !!

Take out the shrimp from the glass, the mashed spinach and olive oil will stick on the shrimp.

Once the wasabi jelly hit the nose, take mouthful of this chilled susu tepong.

Aged mushrooms with udang kering. The udang kering looks like bacon bits. Yuck !

Siakap goreng tepong masam manis. I have no clue what-so-ever, how they made the tepong look like durian ?

Crunchy Lotus flower in coconut milk.. Ni sedap. Simple.

Escargot in cheesy creme. Ubat Gout No 1. !

Baked Baby Lobster with Garlic, peppercorn and kuchai. Ubat Gout No 2 !

Slightly baked scallop with Shrimp paste. Sunggoh kenyal dan yummeeh. Take a-bite and you can feel the scallop melanton balek. Ubat Gout 3 !!!

Sweet aged mushroom with Kicap. Another simple yet satisfying dish.

Salmon Pizza for the first nite appetizer.

Me with Bassam Al-Jub*ri from Saudi.

Look ! Halal Lamb in a cute Bun ala Peking Duck.

Exora

Here it's !.

What I've been waiting for !. Proton Exora. (macam nama apartment ajer).

Ok~ok. It's under 80k. Seat for seven. Two airbags. Mebbe, boleh laa untuk orang macam aku. Anak `nam.

Buat Hantar gi skolah.
Buat Hantar gi swimming..
And Tesco

OK dok ?

Photo cilok-ed from Pauly's

This Side of the Road

Last Saturday, Idi, (anak sedara belah Maam) got married.

We went to Felda Sebertak.

(or was it Seberkas? My fast-fading-memory susah betol nak ingat mender-mender yang baru lepas nii. And I believe this is natural..).

Anyway, it was about 44 km from the Old trunk Road Bridge, near Temerloh. Went deep inside Southwesternly Pahang, I thought we would hear people speak some neo-exotica Pahang Dialect. The kind of Pekan campor Jeghantut. And boy, I was wrong. Totally.

Laa,. semua orang cakap utagha kat situ nooo.
Hang Mai Mana ?
Hang nak Pi mana ?
Awat hang maii lambat sangat.
Laa, rasa macam kat somewhere nearby Jitra. Apparently most of the settlers there were from Kedah..

Lebih kurang pukol 3:30 upacara perkahwinan itu pun kira tamatlaa.

Maka, kami sekeluarga pun beransur pulang ke Kota Damansara.

Dalam perjalanan pulang kearah Kuala Lumpur, jumlah kereta amatlah banyak menuju kearah bertentangan. Kearah Kontan. I believe, many, like me, have been on the other side of the Road. Many times. All I can do, being on this, clear side of the road, is just laugh (my as* off). Ha ha haaaaaaa..

Padan muker a'ok. Saper suwoh dok plen, nok makan angin ?

(tak baik la ko nii Jo)

*****

Just one clear thing can be concluded on this video. I'm such a slow, ehem, discipline driver. OK dok ? (Arip kata "Apasal abah kasi orang bawak van tuu potong abah haaa?")

He hee, semer orang sebok nak amek gambor. Termasuklaa akuu..

Cost Cutting

Inside..
Our National Carrier used to serve a boleh laa meal. Nak kata sedap, ok ajer. Nak kata tak sedap, tak juga. Kalau dah kebulor tuu, best jugak.
Semalam, for me, for the first time ever, they served this very presentable meal-in-a-box. A Boleh laa tri-sandwich with mineral water, apple, and a chocolaty wheaties.

It's more appealing to the eyes rather than to the tekak.. He he.

While @ the immigration CounterNest, I was some passenger ta-pao-ed this meal-in-a-box.

Mebbe next time boleh cilok the kotak, buat hadiah to Ajim..

Outside..